Monday, August 24, 2009

Not me! Monday

From MckMama: Are you feeling guilty for eating all the cereal you said was for the kids? Laden with remorse because you took a nap at your desk when your boss wasn't looking? Overcome with embarrassment when your child sticks their hand down their pants at the mall? We'll don't be! Not Me! Monday was born out of my desire to admit some of my imperfections and reveal a few moments I'd rather forget. You may find it therapeutic to join in and do the same thing!

I am not someone who is addicted to the show called “I didn’t know I was pregnant. If I were someone who watched this show, I would then not be so paranoid by the end that I think I can feel a baby kicking. I do not also WISH that I wouldn’t know I was pregnant until the very end of the pregnancy to avoid the trauma I went through this last pregnancy! Not me!

I do not snore! I am more of a sleeping beauty when I sleep….it is not me that snores so loudly that my husband has nightmares about chainsaws…NOT ME! I would be more of the angelic sleeping type. Not a freight train!

I do not check my blog daily to see if I have more than 4 followers or to see how many times my profile has been viewed. Not me! The 160 times my profile has been viewed would not all be from ME checking my profile myself! It is undoubtedly the 160 people that have been drawn in by my beautiful writing skills that have viewed me that many times!

I am a major health nut! I would never be the type of person to throw a fit when discovering that my chocolate stash in the freezer had been invaded. I do not think there are certain foods in our home that only I am allowed to touch! Not me! I would never hide food from my family in an effort to conserve it for myself that would be wrong! What is mine is theirs, what is theirs is mine…right????

I do not start projects and not finish them. I do not have so many projects going at one time that I don’t get back to those projects for so long that they are outdated by the time I get to them. I didn’t actually consider changing my blog name to the “The Professional Pessimistic Procrastinator”. Not me! I am an absolute positive-minded, optimistic, uplifting at all times, non fit-throwing peaceful women.

This would never occur at my home!

I would definitely never loathe going to the store so much that I would wait until we not only ran out of toilet paper, but also went through 2 boxes of kleenex's before getting more! Not me!

I do not have a large tote on my front porch labeled “returns” for items that I have been meaning to return. These items would definitely not be a cumulative of items that I have been meaning to return now for up to 2 years at most. I am not someone who is embarrassed to return items, and would rather not have the money and let them collect dust then to just take them back and get it over with.

I did not sign up to be an Independent Beauty consultant for a popular direct sale cosmetic company back in February of 2008. If I had signed up back then I surely would sell the large amount of items that I opted to start my new career out with. I would definitely not be so scared to ask people to have parties that I would just let those items sit in their totes. I am such a highly motivated go-getter that I would never waste that kind of money! I would never be a person who now has no desire what so ever to attempt to sell those items…Not me!


  1. Bahaha! Your husband has nightmares about chain saws because of your snoring?!?! That's way too funny. Great NMM!

  2. Do you remember how mad you girls would get at me for my snoring in our dorm? Especially Jess!

  3. I, too, am such a health food nut, that I am always looking out for my husband. I wouldn't want him to gain any weight by eating delicious (um, I mean VILE) goodies, so I hide them and eat them when he is gone.

    I have NEVER been called out when my husband wiped a little remnant chocolate from the corner of my mouth and asked when I last ate a cookie.

  4. LOLOL The tissue as toilet paper is priceless..but I might have you beat..what would you think about coffee filters?? LOLOL Happy Monday!

  5. LOLOLOLOL I love you!! The TWO kleenex box ON the toilet paper holder CRACKS ME UP! Don't feel too least YOU have kleenex in your house! What did you sign up to sell? Mary Kay? I need some MK but hate calling my longwinded annoying consultant!! We are so much alike it is scary! Must be those genes that cause the procrastination and food hiding which I point out only to blame these minor minor faults on who else but our parents!!! I used to check my stat counter many many times a day but now haven't checked it for months. I think I will go have a gander. Just stop by all kinds of blogs and leave comments when you have one. They will visit you in turn and you will get followers. You posting more often now will help too! Yeah I love that you are posting more now! I must say I don't snore so that little trait can not be blamed on genes.......NOT!!!