I have a couple of dear friends that I went to school with that are beginning their second round of In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF) Monday. I believe they have been trying to have a baby for somewhere around 7 to 8 years now. Very strong Christians. They have been brave enough to start a blog about the trials, ups, downs involved in the road down infertility treatments. Go here...to read their story. Please if you have a moment to send them a prayer and little love, I know they won't turn it away.
James & I got to have a taste of what the infertility road is like when trying to conceive. We thought we would be pregnant by the end of our honeymoon. I mean...why not??? I already had a 5 year old at the time. Well...God didn't see it that way. We tried for 4-1/2 years. We did go through fertility testing. James was fine, they did a laparascopy on me and said that I was fine...yet it wasn't happening. After a word from a women evangelist was spoken over me...I made peace with it that God had the perfect timing. We never made it to the IVF route, but did try several different fertility drugs to no avail. Those alone are no fun with how they affect your hormones and how you feel. I can't imagine what going down the IVF road has to be like on your body and emotions! A year after we stopped all fertility treatments we found out unexpectedly that I was pregnant! And now...that little boy will be turning 1 this week!
Now...I had already had a child, so I knew what it was like to have a baby. While it was still dissappointing and heartbreaking during those 4 years, it wasn't as tough as what my husband experienced. While he accepted and adopted Xavier as his own with open arms, he longed to have a baby of his own. James was previously married for 4 years, and they tried to have a baby as well...to no avail. Just 6 months after their divorce...his ex became pregnant right away by her new boyfriend. I know that he was glad at that point that they never had a child together, because it would have become very complicated...but the desire to have a baby of his own wasn't any less. I longed to have a baby with my husband, to raise a child from the beginning with a spouse and to experience motherhood as a mature adult as opposed to the still learning 19 year old I was back then. And knowing how badly my husband wanted a baby too...was extra pressure on the both of us.
I believe that God has perfect timing. While it almost always isn't OUR timing, and while we don't understand his reason at the time, eventually the reason shows itself. In the beginning of our marriage...me never being married, being a single mom, him recently divorcing from a women who was very verbally and emotionally abusive to him...God knew we had some rough roads ahead to smooth out before he threw another life into our home. There was quite an adjustment period for Xavier learning to have a dad in his life, and me learning to let someone else have a say in the disciplining of Xavier.
Anyways, this post is getting longer than I intended for it to. Bottom line is this...My heart melts for anyone that I know is trying to have a baby, having been in that place for 4 years has increased my sensitivity to it. The one thing that I had to say out loud...even when I didn't always believe it was...I am not giving up hope. So I ask of you this, pray today for the couples out there that are longing to have children of their own and are going through the infertility process. Pray for their strength to get through it, pray for the right people to be sent into their lives to comfort and uplift them when needed, pray for them to seek Jesus to be their strength to endure it.
I love you Pete & Darcy!