Monday, May 7, 2012

His Promise Stands

 Folks, there is no way to start this post to make it cheery and fun. My normal spunk is kinda fizzled at the moment. Maybe you noticed that I haven't blogged for quite some time. No apologies really. Life has been shall we say...quite the roller-coaster. A couple of weeks ago this rainbow landed in my back yard. It came at just the perfect time. It was the closest, brightest, most colorful rainbow...even a DOUBLE rainbow...that I have ever seen. My thought at that time was...God is saying there is still beauty and good in this world. Sending down a glimmer of hope that the grim times are few, and that the glorious times are many.

I went to Blissdom at the end of February. It was fabulous. It ended horrible when Harrison recieved 2nd degree burns on his hand. Then...several rounds of sickness hit our home. Then...Easter hit. I have had an ear infection for a solid month. Then the worst thing hit...our son Xavier's best friend had a tragic farming accident on April 14th. He was declared legally dead on the 15th, and his organs were graciously donated by his family on the 16th. Losing someone is horrible. I can't imagine the pain Efrain's parents and family face every day. Knowing Efrain was a Christian is the only way I can imagine any peace comes from his passing. 

This parenting thing...it's hard! There are many many rewards. But the pain of watching your child endure a death of such a close friend...its excruciating. A mother's first reaction is to do anything and everything to take the pain away. There isn't much I can do for him besides pray and listen to him. Many people ask how we are doing, and I would say we are "o.k.". We are just taking things day by day...we have talked to God a lot. We have cried. We have talked to each other a lot. The biggest part a parent can have in helping a child's grief...is being an open vessel to listen when they are ready to talk. Lots of questions, what if's, why's. Thirteen is much to young to die.


Efrain is in the front row far right in the green striped shirt.
 This past Thursday my son's 1 year old beagle Stella was hit and killed by a car. We got Stella the same day on August 11th when Xavier's other dog was hit and killed. Seriously...she was probably the sweetest dog I have ever met. My sweet boy insisted on burying her himself. We miss her, but our hearts are beginning to mend as we welcomed Lexie, a yellow lab, to our family. She is a precious 8 week old sweetie!
And last but certainly not least...my husband's grandpa Jim passed away this afternoon at the age of 94. He was James Harrison the first...my husband is James Harrison the II, and my baby boy is James Harrison the III. I am so happy that he got to meet Harrison. But am very sad that he will not have any of his own memories of him. Grandpa Jim was a good man. He fought in the war...he survived 2 wives passing of cancer, he had a barber shop for 50 years! He was the most impactful person in my husbands life as a child.There is even a park named after him in his home town. There was nothing better than watching his face light up when he was around his children and grandchildren.

Photo taken on Father's Day 2009. He was smitten with River. Couldn't take his eyes off of him.
I am kinda declaring that the old saying "death comes in 3's"....has to be true...because that would mean that we are done. Death can just walk on by us right now, we have had our fill. 

Amongst all of these tragedies...life still continues. We still have a business to run. We still have 3 kids to raise...2 of which are too young to realize anything is wrong. We still have committee's we are on and meetings to attend. A church to attend. We still had a family to host in our home for a weekend, we still had 2 seperate family functions at our home Easter weekend...bringing over 50 people into our home. Still have a house to clean, laundry to do, obligations to keep. 

I enjoy blogging. I enjoy the community. I am still...a blogger...but I am releasing myself from the guilt of feeling like I need to post. It is what it is. I will post when I can...but y'all....I just need time to catch up with life. The next few weeks we have 3 nephews and nieces graduating...not to mention Harrison's first birthday this Friday. I hate being the Debby Downer and feeling like I need to apologize for posting such negative stuff. I also am not fishing for sympathy. This stuff is real. This stuff is life. I have to believe that this is as low as this valley is going to get...and that we are on the edge of some great things very soon. 

And amongst all of this pain, we know we are blessed. God reminds us in little ways...with rainbows...or the laughter of a baby...or the cuteness of a puppy...or the random cute sayings of a 3 year old...God is still good. He never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me...

3 comments:

  1. you are invited to follow my blog

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi...I'm a lurker, but was also at Blissdom and read your posts occasionally when I have time to read anything.

    This post struck home with me and I'm holding back the tears as I type this. I feel the pain of your son. The summer I turned 17, my best friend died in a very bizarre incident on a ski boat. She just drifted down into the lake from carbon monoxide poisoning and they dragged that lake for 2.5 days before they found her body. The nightmares of that year still haunt me and it's been 17 years this summer since she has been gone.

    He will never forget this, but one day he will wake up and realize that he didn't think about or cry about his friend that day and it will be a sunny day in his heart. He'll be able to remember the happy things and fun things and not just the horribleness of it all. The pain will always be too real, but he will get through it. And so will you. You are doing the right thing by just giving him the time & space in his life to grieve at his own pace. That's all you can ask from a teenager. :(

    I'm so, so sorry. Prayers for him and your family and the sweet little friend's family and everyone else who has been torn by this.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ugh Janelle. I am so with you-sometimes it seems the dark lasts forever :( Prayers for your son and his friend's family. I just can't imagine and my heart aches at the thought.

    In His love & comfort,
    Sherri

    P.S. My post today at http://www.thepaintedlife.com might help a little. It's a short read with a big message. Hope you find some comfort in it, however small.

    ReplyDelete